Not so Tastic

Went to egg retrieval dutifully with husband. Apparently some people leave the husband alone. And these people go onto procreate. Sheesh. What an adventure it was, my egg pick-up! We were on the stand-by list for testicular biopsy. We (incorrectly) assumed that stand-by meant that there was something we were looking for on the day that would make the decision about the biopsy. You know, if the eggs looked antisocial, if the sperm looked a bit sad....

Nope. It was "stand-by" just because we were expected to make a decision there. On the spot. After they shoved a fentanyl drip in my hand and pushed in the good stuff. A great time to make a rational decision. They got 13 eggs. 12 mature. Who'd have thunk it?!?

Poor Mr B was trying to grapple with the decision on his lonesome whilst I told him "everything's great, woohoo, celebrate good times......snore!". In the end, ill prepared as we were, we went for the TESA thing. When they were taking Mr B away (well I went too) I kept feeling the urge to scream out "just let the poor man ejaculate" but stupidly I stayed silent. I just don't seem to want to upset the nice IVF people. So I sat and watched the nice people hack into my husbands apricots, pull out a little tube and suck the life out of them.

Our embryologist was the same poor lass that we had last time. She recognised us - probably cause I had a massive spac-attack last time! There are probably very logical reasons why I shouldn't have spac-attacks (I keep seeing these people ...). She quickly covered this up with "I always remember the good looking ones...." which just made me think it was IVF double speak for "I always remember the crazy ones".

Well, they ICSI'd all 13. The nurse phoned this morning, and this really gets my goat, she told us that they'd ICSI'd all 13. Then she said "What is your DOB so I can confirm that its you" (UM - YOU JUST TOLD ME YOU'D ICSI'D ALL 13 LADY....). They just plain suck at giving you bad news and do weird stuff in the meantime (like give you half the story and then CONFIRM YOUR IDENTITY) <-- a little bit of misdirected anger? Probably.

Anyway, 7 fertilised. 3 were degenerate. 3 were plain ol' lazy and did nothing. I freaked it as fert rates for ICSI should be between 80 - 100% (I know cause I regularly consult Dr Google). Then she tells me not to count the 3 degenrates and the immature so really its 7/9 - a much more respectable number. WTF? Her very calm, soothing voice kept saying...7's great, some women only get 3 (yes, maam but they get three happy eggs that blossom and bloom while my eggs huff and puff to cross the bloody finish line!). So the race begins ... I hereby name the eggs the "Seven Dwarfs" - may there be a lively and exciting race.