I'm getting a T-shirt made. After much drama, Mr B administered my trigger last night at 11pm. It's the countdown to egg retrieval. This is when it gets tough. The latest scans look ok I think, with about 10 big follies and a whole lot smaller who may be big enough on EPU tomorrow. My E2 levels are high but perfect. Things flip don't they.
Sometimes I think I'm in a bit of denial. I pretend like this isn't going to work so I'm not actually stressed by that. I don't feel anxious (or not nearly as much as my last cycle). I'm committing myself more intensely to adoption and divorcing myself from IVF. IVF feels like a friend who said something nasty to me and I'm pretending like they didn't knowing full well we're not really friends. Although a lot rides on this cycle - technically it could confirm that I have poor egg quality. That would be hard. I fully expect that to happen and for some reason I'm dissociated from the pain.